Men Who Wear Chastity Belts
• BDSM
21st Century Orgasm Denial
You're at work, in a shop, just walking down the street. One or more of the men you see may be wearing a chastity device.
He may have a high tech CB-3000 or the more virile sounding Stallion Guard locked about his genitals. He doesn't have the key with which to unlock it. That is with his wife girlfriend or some less intimate person whose pleasure is mostly in key holding.
Guys have given up their ability to have an orgasm, possibly even an erection. They remain helplessly chaste until the key holder allows their penis freedom.
No one has forced transitory celibacy on them. If they are in a BDSM relationship they may have been ordered into the contraption but that is with their own consent. They are voluntarily chaste. Release at the will or whim of another.
Driven by both disinterested curiosity and some more personal reasons I went on the web to see what I could learn.
One of the biggest surprises is that D/s folks aren't the only ones who practice orgasm denial.
From a kind respondent on usenet:
It has overtones of D/s that make it in some ways very "safe" for people who consider themselves to be mainly vanilla. And while you're playing, it's like the gift that keeps on giving - the longer you go on the more hot it becomes ...
Just plain 'vanilla' citizens play this game. Next time you are passing your local Baptist church amuse yourself by wondering how many of the men inside have surrendered their sexuality this way. Whether for God or wifey.
That abstinence apparatus are often listed among the bestsellers at sex toy sites has often puzzled me. Penis prisons can get a bit pricey. If you assume that ordinary men and women are among the practitioners the more sense the sales figure make.
My friend on usenet confirmed one of my own guesses about the notion that men become more pleasing when denied. We probably owe it if not directly to degree mill graduate "Dr." John Gray of Mars and Venus fame but to the same cultural assumptions about the relations between the sexes.
So to me, your question becomes "do men in chastity actually become more docile, or do they merely *think* that they do?" And to some degree, I'd answer that it's the latter, because it's now ingrained in the subculture that this is what happens, so they get the results that they expect to see.
Want hubby to take out the garbage? Lock up his cock.
While I knew that some men and women greatly enjoy chastity seeing it called a subculture was a bit of a shock. But given billions of people and social fragmentation there are zillions of subcultures. And we're better for it.
My best correspondent was perhaps Mistress Jasmyn on Collar Chat.
I haven't seen anyone express a theologically rooted motivation for living in enforced chastity but give the power of such nonsense in our lives (at least here in the US) it probably does play a role.... I think for some men there is still an element of viewing this drive for orgasm (in the traditional male stereotype) as been a fundamental 'male weakness' rather than a 'male strength'.
One of the aspects of orgasm denial that most interested me was the often repeated statement that unless their orgasms are greatly reduced men become less caring and involved. (In a larger sense than the short-term post coital relaxation). I couldn't help but think if you really love your lover or want to serve your dominant why would you need that?
So no I don't see a submissive becoming less attentive if o/d wasn't a mandatory act, but I can see it happening for those who *need* that form of control. A kind of cup half full or a cup half empty thing...when they are allowed orgasm, afterwards their cup is half empty...to see that cup as half full again...negative through to a positive outlook...they need to be back in a state of denial.
There was also the rather colorful tale of a man for whom mandatory chastity was a form of marriage therapy. A homespun negative conditioning to overcome a bent toward bestiality.
The only release he was allowed during an 11 month retraing period was with Me, in my presence. Naturally, rather than waste 4 hours a night purusing bestiality photos and and videos, he quickly gravitated towards activities that would earn him the reward of orgasm and release.
There's a rich diversity that I'm overlooking. It ranges from brief but mandatory continence to very long-term denial.
A long preface. Or that is what it was meant to be. I'd intended this entry to be one of my resource roundups.
Sometimes it can sound pretty monstrous. Other times playful. Despite the name, Orgasm Denial is an example of the latter.
House of Kink has a section called Masturbation Control.
There's also Chastity Lifestyle (which seems to focus heavily on male sissyfication).
Chastity belts for both sexes are discussed in Chastity Belt Frequently Asked Questions
Lock Me Up's Chastity Belt Review Vault
Deviant's Dictionary's Chastity BriefingNo such list would be complete without Altar Boy
Earlier notes that I made elsewhere:
Casual Meditation on Enforced Chastity
Prostate health requires that men be 'milked' if not allowed to cum: Milking the Male
ER's list of chastity toys.Digusted, excited, baffled? Let me know.
Comments
I am one of the men you talk about I have been kept in inforced chastity for the past 2 years. My Mistress milks me once a day but she has learnt the trick of milking me without allowing me pleasure.I love her dearly & worship her. She does allow me satisfaction once a week if I have pleased her
Posted by: Peter | October 10, 2005 01:02 PM
I wish my wife understood the joy she could give me if she would take control of my penis this way.
I love her and enjoy our sex life but I know it could be pushed to another, higher level. At least for me.
Maybe I’m just a weak fool … ?
Posted by: Timmy | October 10, 2005 07:38 PM
Once when Mistress was out I decided to look at porn on the pc & became very aroused.I resolved to remove my device a “curve” whatever the cost after several minuits with my penis emersed in cold water I was able to free myself & masterbate. To my utter horror no matter how I tried I could not get the device back on. Then Mistress returned & discovered that I had done she was not happy I recieved the serverest whipping of my life.Even though I have learnt my lesson now when she goes out & leaves me alone she binds my hands to my collar. I may be weak I may be totaly controlled but I am happy & I make my Mistress happy
Posted by: Peter | October 12, 2005 04:58 AM
I have never worn a chastity belt but would like to as it would take away the temptation I somtimes feel.My wife enforces my chastity by use of the cane & CB torture mostly but does use other meathods always painfull and/or humilating.I have learnt over many years to control my urges. If she so much as suspects I have touched myself I am punished. I long for a chastity belt so I will not have to relie on my willpower
Posted by: Bill | October 13, 2005 06:34 AM
i am a slave to my Master and before i met him i has searched for him one of the things i used to think about was chastity but it has been toward the back of my mind for a long time and i have discovered that longing again and i should have my device arriving withing two weeks and i’m not sure how long it will remain on :)
Posted by: UqOr | April 28, 2006 06:24 PM
I believe I need to get a chastity belt. I masturbate a couple of times a week, and my wife would only like sex maybe once a month. When we do have sex, I get so excited, that there have been times where I’ve had premature ejaculation. This is after I’ve gone down on her. I think I need to be locked up, so I won’t have to worry about cumming and could just relax and pleasure her.
Posted by: smallcock | January 24, 2007 09:54 AM