Asexuals and Masturbation
• Heterogeneous
Elsewhere I posted a note about asexuality and BDSM. A correspondent wondered if the asexual person that I quoted experienced any form of sexual gratification:
Perhaps by solitary masturbation? Or perhaps not at all?
My knowledge of asexuality is shallow. To be honest I can’t empathize with it and aside from - as I do with a number of very sexual practices - hope the persons involved are being true to themselves and experience no psychological damage only seek to respect it as another choice in the diffuse and broad range of human sexuality.
So I did what one does in the 21s century and checked with Google.
From the Asexual Visibility and Education Nework FAQ:
Most asexuals are physically capable of sex. Some masturbate and some don’t. Masturbation produces a pleasurable sensation and as such many asexuals choose to use it to take pleasure from their bodies. Many asexuals can only arouse themselves manually (by applying friction to sexual organs), others can turn themselves on with thought.
The distinction between sexual and asexual people is that, if asexuals think about other people during masturbation (many asexuals don’t think about anything specifically sexual) it is only as fantasy. If they actually were given the opportunity to be sexual with that person there would be no attraction, or the drive would be so low as to be completely ignorable.
Some asexuals may be considered autosexual, they have the drive to take pleasure from their own body. Other masturbating asexuals do not have a sexual drive motivating them, they just do it because it’s nice. The common factor is that all asexuals, masturbating or not, have little or no attraction to other people.
I’ll confess that some fantasize - presumably about sex - does give me pause. But there is no reason for people to have a sex life that is only of the mind. There is the automatic response that anyone whose sex is only in fantasy is repressed or frustrated. But that need not apply to all people.
And there is diversity: some evidently enjoy the physical sensation without any imagery.
From the BBC Edited Guide Entry:
Many asexuals who try sex find it disappointing, and some find the idea of sex absolutely repulsive. Many asexuals do not masturbate and derive no pleasure from any sexual act.
The first sentence is disturbing. But I can’t see that as actual asexuality. To find sexual acts ugly is neither neutral nor merely lack of interest. That stimulation of the nerves along the surface of the genitals gives no pleasure does baffle me. It seems contrary to physiology.
Even the Puritans, famed for their moral rectitude, were not as “Puritanical” as newly popular chastity books such as Every Man’s Battle, which argues that men can avoid the “sin” of masturbation by training themselves to have asexual wet dreams every 72 hours.
That has nothing to do with the kind of asexuality I have in mind but was irresistible. Really it is anti-sexuality.
Really there’s not much to conclude other than evidence of variety.
There has been some speculation among medical researchers that going for long periods without ejaculation may encourage prostate cancer in men. So I’d hope that asexual men who do not masturbate do “milk” themselves periodically just as a health measure.
While I can’t pretend that for me this is strange: but my own sexuality would strike many people as equally weird. I have no desire to be judgmental of others sexuality. Perhaps some asexual persons will at some point leave comments to clarify and expand the understand of those who may read this.
What prompted this: Asexual BDSM?